10 Super Cs: Affirming Your Power to Grow

Today our reflection is all about the big "C." Nope, not cookies, definitely not cancer:  affirmations that involve the letter C. The word affirmation comes from the Latin affirmare, meaning "to make steady, strengthen." As psychologist Dr. Carmen Harra explains, "[i]n the sequence of thought-speech-action, affirmations play an integral role by breaking patterns of negative thoughts, negative speech, and in turn, negative actions." Go on, be skeptical. I expect nothing less of you, dear readers. But if you want to break some patterns you're not happy with, patterns that aren't serving you, read on. There’s no doubt that the art of speaking is a key thing that distinguishes the human species from other animals. When our thoughts become spoken words they hold the power to reinforce how we think about ourselves. Think about a time when someone's words steadied and strengthened you. What did s/he say? How will it feel to take charge of steadying and strengthening yourself? Try these big "C" affirmations or make up some of your own. What have you got to lose except, perhaps, some dead-weight thinking that may be holding you back! And, as thoughts become words, words tend … [Read more...]

ABCs for Leading Your Best Possible Life

I got a great chuckle recently. One of my clients said I should go into the greeting card-writing business based on my uplifting, sometimes cheerleading-type talk and tweets. Not sure whether I'm flattered or dismayed. I’d love, and am trying, to be a serious writer, yet… Elizabeth Lesser, a New York Times bestselling author, advises: "Look for a way to lift someone up. If that's all you do, it's enough." So, dear readers, if I was a greeting card writer, I’d write you a card that reads something like this: ABCs for Leading Your Best Possible Life Ask for what you want and say every little thing you’re grateful for, every chance you get. Bounce back with joy and remember that failure is fleeting. Create what you can, whether it is a pie, a poem, a painting, or putting a smile on someone’s face. Define yourself; don’t let others tell you who you are because the expert on you is YOU. Explore every possibility to learn what you love and are really, really good at doing. Forgive anyone and anything possible for not being perfect, and when you make mistakes, forgive yourself. Grab onto goodness which is easily found when you take a breath and pay attention.  Help others in … [Read more...]

5 Affirmations for a Meryl-Streep-Like-Life

Who doesn't adore the great Meryl Streep? Wise words, erroneously attributed to her, have been circulating on Facebook broadly. They are actually the words of Portuguese speaker, author, life and executive coach, Jose̕ Micard Teixeira. Reportedly, Ms. Streep holds these words close, considers them words to live by. Let's step into Ms. Streep's shoes today with a Texeira excerpt, along with my gentle reframe—“affirmative shift." I love to think of this reflection as Teixeira-inspired... 5 Affirmations for a Meryl-Streep-Like-Life Selective Patience. “I no longer have patience for certain things, not because I’ve become arrogant, but simply because I reached a point in my life where I do not want to waste more time with what displeases me or hurts me.” -Teixeira Affirmation:  I have endless patience for things and people who enrich my life and consider my feelings and my fate precious. Push Aside Cynics & Critics. “I have no patience for cynicism, excessive criticism and demands of any nature.” -Teixeira Affirmation:  I embrace people who bring love and light to all they do, and encourage me to be and do the same. Don’t Please Others. “I lost the will … [Read more...]

Whose Job Is It To Like Me?

"It's not your job to like me -- its mine." -Byron Katie The Romantics' song "What I Like About You" is an 80s classic. Remember the simple lyrics? "What I like about you, you keep me warm at night.  Never wanna let you go, know you make me feel alright, yeah." How true, likeability can be that easy. You are infinitely likeable but then, as the wise Byron Katie reminds us,  it isn't my job to affirm your likeability -- it is your job. I know it can be easy to slip, to focus on what we don't like about ourselves. To feel hungry for someone else to affirm how likeable we are in this rough and tumble, photo-shopped world. Quiet your inner critic with these steps. 1) In the moment #affirmation: Speak:  I own that it is my job to like me and I DO. Write:  three things I like about me in this moment are... Speak/read again. 2) Reflecting over my life #affirmation: Speak:  I do not spend energy and time worrying about whether others like me.  I'll ask the one who matters - me. Write:  Three things that I've always liked about me throughout my life are... Speak/read again. 3) Being kind to myself and others is something I truly value #affirmation:   Speak:  … [Read more...]

Affirming Your Worth

This week, let's check in with our inside! Accomplishments, activities, accolades and things can be wonderfully validating but think about it, external validation doesn't entirely make for happiness, at least not the sustainable kind. Building a sense of self-worth that is independently strong, internally solid, is the greatest gift we can give ourselves. Recently during a #TweetChat I mentioned the research-based 5:1 Rule. Highly effective leaders (we're all leading something, not the least of which is our lives) positively acknowledge and recognize others' contributions -- "what's working" -- five times more than "what needs work" to healthily engage others and produce the best results. Imagine if we applied the 5:1 Rule to ourselves? For every one thing we say to ourselves that we need to improve, learn, change or stop doing or thinking, we recognize ourselves with five positive things about how we are being and what we are doing. Pledge:  I'll use the 5:1 Rule on ME! Try it now! How did that self-love feel? If you're anything like me, this practice might feel uncomfortable or downright impossible initially. We've internalized messages about pleasing others … [Read more...]

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